Fits and Bursts

It’s been a while since I’ve written. Anything. There are some writers who are able to maintain a disciplined approach, turning out at least a minimum number of words per day. I have never been one of those writers. For me, text reveals itself much the same way as the thoughts and feelings behind the text reveals itself: in fits and bursts.

It’s apt — truly — nothing in my life, in many people’s lives, is constant. As creatures who tend to flourish in consistency, we habitualize the things we can, satisfying our minds on some level with the illusion of control. Some of us schedule our lives down to the second. Some of us are more comfortable in the organic chaos.

I usually live somewhere in the middle — I cycle between being exquisitely productive and a profound schlub. Sometimes, not much is going on, and life floats by smoothly. Sometimes, allofthethings happen at once. Currently, my life resembles the latter. I have feelings about that… excitement, nervousness, happiness, confidence and doubt, to name a few.

In retrospect (’tis the season!), in a little less than three years, I ended a long-term romantic relationship, began a new romantic relationship (and in the process, gained two young children in my life), moved to a different house, sold a house, became estranged from my mom (again), experienced a major medical event, reconnected with a sibling I haven’t seen or talked to in over 25 years, and made a substantial job change.

I’ve maintained a travel schedule that’s had me out of the state at least four times a year, teaching or working, including presenting at two professional conferences (don’t let this part kid you — I LOVE to travel, and for most of these trips, I am seeing people whom I adore but only get to see once a year on said trips, but, there is work involved, still).

Then, nearly a year ago, I started doing this writing thing. In that year, I have had three pieces published in literary magazines and won two fellowships (one of which starts in just a few weeks).

To top it all off, for the past several months, I have been creating a corporate consulting and training business from the ground up. That business will officially launch next week; stay tuned!

No wonder it’s hard to tell up from down at times. When you’re working at your calling — when you’re lucky enough that what you do for a living is also your Purpose in Life — the work-life balance can be a bit wonky… like riding a bicycle with triangular tires.

The above list of accomplishments is more for me than it is for you. It’s a way to make my brain understand that in spite of my periods of aforementioned schlubbery, I have managed to do a lot in a relatively short amount of time. I don’t know about you, but I’m elegantly skilled at telling myself that I’m not doing enough — that I am not enough.

The part of this post that is for you is this: we are beautifully human. None of us can do it all, all of the time. We need seasons of rest to regenerate — our bodies, our thoughts, and our spirits. Whether you are steady, with carefully planned work days and scheduled rest days, or, like me, prone to fits and bursts, take care of yourselves, Dear Readers. And whatever it is that you do, it is enough. You are enough.

What is something you’ve done in the past year or two of which you are particularly proud?

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